precisely..
there's nothing much to do on a cold saturday night. especially when the exams were all finished.
anyway, the remedial exams in one of my subjects was a success for me. although i know i still have some mistakes, i think the exam will have better results.

oh, i remember that today was actually the Father's day for the Chinese or Taiwanese (or both).
a friend of mine might be celebrating the father's day with his dad drinking, chatting, and sharing good memories. i like those people who can communicate to their parents (especially to their dads) without barriers. i mean, without hesitance.

maybe that is one of the infinitely many things that i do not have. well, in case you readers do not know, my relationship with my dad was.. umm, a little too unwarm. meaning, we don't talk that much.

i envy my friend, because his relationship with his father is just like casual friends. i wish my relationship with my father will be better. maybe, i am just a little too stubborn or my pride is just a little too big. how i wish that i could be the one to make the move and talk to him one on one. but guess what, i am too scared to do that. i am a coward when it comes to things that have to be handled with so much emotion.

i want to change my behavior towards my dad.
i want to straighten things up.
i want to develop a better relationship.
i want to talk to him more often.
i want to open up.
i want to be known.
i want to be acknowledged and recognized by him.

each day, i am struggling with our awful situation. i am always finding away to escape reality. to jump in my own world where i am the law.

i know there is still chance in my relationship with my father. but first, i want to be recognized by him. i want him to know me more. i want him to be proud because of me.

i know what i will do next.

I will prove myself! :)